When You are Weak

When You are Weak…

God’s timing always amazes me. Sometimes I think He’s too late in His timing until after the fact, and then I realize that He knows what He is doing!

This past week was a hard one for me personally, emotionally. The only reason I am putting this out there is because I know that everyone goes through moments of weakness. No. I don’t have a child graduating, like so many of my emotional friends do this time of year! And I have my health, and a family I love, and that loves me, and great friends. I have much to be thankful for.

But I found myself this past week bombarded with the impossibles. The hows. It’s easy to look at a situation and feel defeated, not understanding where God is taking “all this”. Whining about spending my first summer having to work, and not being able to be at home, and having to sacrifice so many things at home, and I had a hard time especially with our adoption. Not necessarily in the wait, (even though it has been 3 1/2 years since we started the process)but without getting in to detail, so many other things. And when you are going through moments, there will always be something to fuel the fire…I even had a call from someone this week telling me that we should not adopt from China, and go locally…see, the enemy, like a snake, will try and strike while he can, and take advantage of your situation.

Then, at the point of weakness, I had no more words, no more emotions, no more complaints, and I was ready to give up, it was like God was saying, “ok. now that you are done, I am going to speak!”

It reminds me a bit of the patient parent who allows their child to fall on the floor and throw a tantrum, while beating their fists, and kicking their legs, and crying out every last tear until they are worn out from their outburst. Once they’ve expelled their energy, their ears are more in tune to the wisdom of their parents, and welcomes the comfort that is still given.

Sometimes God has to wait for us to finish our tantrums, and to get it all out. Maybe He’s speaking to us in the midst, but we just can’t hear. He wants us to be real. But He also wants our attention. It is a 2 sided thing. I remember trying to put Alec in his car seat when he didn’t want to be strapped in. He would bow back his 2 year old body, and boy, 3 people couldn’t get him to stay in the thing! We were doing it for his safety, for the journey, and we were probably going somewhere good! But he was in the moment. He couldn’t see beyond what was happening right now. We had to wait for Alec to become weak before we could safely strap him in, and move on to the next thing!

I was at that point Monday night. When we were at a friends house for a BBQ, someone came up to me and started talking about Addie Grace, and began addressing every single issue that I was so discouraged about. Thinking that Ken had disclosed all of my issues, I gave in. (finding out later that he had not said anything)

The funny thing is, is that this person was just making friendly conversation! He had no idea that he was being used by the Lord to address my insanity! I totally knew what God was up to, and it was so very sneaky of Him. and timely.

God waits for us to become weak to speak. He is a good God. He is a smart God. He is a Strong God. and He is a God who knows what our future holds. He knows our every thought and the condition of our hearts.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”…that is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.