Some Personal Encouragement

image from The Shabby Princess.com

(sorry...I just re-read this...it's so long)

I learned today that sometimes...things are not as they seem.

After my awkward, insecure teen years, I really learned how to be confident and okay with my many imperfections. In most cases I see the "glass as half-full". Almost to a comedic fault, I actually think I can sing like Celine, and can wear jeans like Heidi Klum (until I actually try it). I think I am a decent mom and wife, and designer. And I actually do a pretty darn good job...on the days I am not miserably failing!

It wasn't until recently that I answered a question in an email questionnaire that I so often get from one of my girlfriends, that asked..."Do you make friends easily?" Psshhh. Who wouldn't answer yes to that. But as I typed it I thought, you know ...I really don't. I am friendly...but I am not one to seek out new friendships~that is not easy for me.

This morning I was reluctant to go to church, like most Sundays lately. It's been a different season for me, and thats ok, I know it is only a season, but I have to fight through, no doubt. I just say a silent prayer that the Lord will speak to me in my obedience to show up (even though it is usually 20 minutes late!) After the service, a gentleman approached Ken and I and said he needed to talk...it was directed towards me. As a leader in our church, I honestly thought he was going to give us a great word of encouragement, or say something wise...nope. He had told me that he had been harboring bitter feelings and been angry with me for a way I had handled a situation 5-7 years ago, and needed to tell me that, so that he could ask for my forgiveness. Before the shock hit me, I immediately wanted to know what it was so that I could make amends if I needed to do that. He didn't think it was necessary to go in to detail, but he just needed to get it off his chest. So I forgave him and begged him to not be bothered by this anymore.

But oh boy...all day long I kept thinking, "but I thought he thought Ken and I were cool, wonderful, christian, sweet, strong people, and all this time...he didn't like me!" SO my conversations today were like, "but God, HOW am I supposed to know? I am nice to everyone, I don't stir up conflict, I'm amiable...I even showed for church, instead of reading on the porch swing, which You knew I wanted to do..."

Then I saw this scripture above. I realized it's not about me, I mean it sorta-kinda was...but it's not - not today anyways. After our conversation with this gentleman, he walked away with a peacefulness. He did what the Lord had impressed on his heart to do. It wasn't easy for him to admit his anger, he even teared up a bit. I don't fault him for it, I'm impressed. I needed to be at church so that he could be free from this feeling he's felt all these years. But it has bothered me all day that I have made someone bitter at me for that long.

Only in our weakness can God's power be made perfect. We all are in need of God's power in our lives, and certainly all the Grace we can stand. It all goes hand in hand. In his weakness, he had God's strength to walk up to me in Grace to do what he did. I have been drained of any personal strength - trying to figure it out on my own, and realized that I need to give up and allow God's power to work in my life. In doing that, even when we think we are strong...we must realize that we aren't always, and to lean on our own strength is just futile anyways.

What do you need to let go of today? What do you need God's Strength for? All we need is His grace.